I woke up this morning to snow. Not just a little bit of snow but a lot. It started snowing yesterday afternoon and it continued till this morning. We got our first big snow last week the kids had a snow day it never totally melted and now we have more. I am not a fan of snow. Living overseas in the south pacific for over 2 years changed me forever. I really like the sun.
I like to be outside and when I am I don’t particularly want to bundle up like a snow beast. I hate the weight of heavy clothes and I hate being cold. I love however to look out the window and watch it and how the Christmas lights twinkle off of it. I love that the pace of life slows down because of it and that everything becomes very still.
My crazy kids love playing in it of course. We have the perfect hill behind our house that’s not to big and not to small. Just enough for a good ride but not a huge amount of effort to climb. So last night we enjoyed a family dinner with friends, baked tons of cookies, made hot chocolate, listened to Christmas music and the kids went back and forth from the cold to the warmth.
They were having so much fun and enjoying the moment and the freshness of the snow. I didn’t yell at them for tracking snow in and out and I didn’t worry if they were dressed appropriately. I just let them be kids and figure things out on their own.
A little before midnight they came in and put their clothes in the dryer and decided to take a break; have some hot chocolate and cookies before going outside yet again. They were animated and told us all about the fort they had built and what they were planning to do when they went back out. They told us about a mouse they had found that had made a snow tunnel and about the icicles they couldn’t quite reach. They really wanted icicles and they were brainstorming ways to reach them. All ideas were rejected by me in the name of safety.
Unfortunately, they never went back outside after midnight to play because I said no. It’s to late and we live in a neighborhood and I was worried about them waking the neighbors. I had some protests and gave them the opportunity for a few minutes to convince me I was wrong (this is a parent strategy I have always done it teaches them to think for themselves but they know the ultimate decision always lies with me; they are entitled to an opinion not an outcome) the argument wasn’t convincing I still say no. They don’t whine or kick or scream or yell or throw a fit they adapt. They know it will not be the last time I ever give them the kind of freedom they just had.
Instead they watch a Christmas movie, roll more cookie dough and the new plan is to have a sleepover and wake up at 5am to go outside because it would still be dark. They set the alarm ignore it and don’t make it out till 8a.m. and the sun has already risen.
They didn’t get up I knew they probably wouldn’t and the magic of the night snow is now gone. I feel bad this morning with the sun shining and the snow melting that I said no last night. It seemed like the respectful and responsible thing to do as a parent but next time I think I will let them go back out and play and make a more vivid memory.
When I was growing up some of my happiest memories surround the holidays. Although those memories were great and I fondly remember them I want to give my kids more then scheduled obligatory holiday pictures and mementos. Our lives are more than days on a calendar geared toward gift giving alone life is happening right now… everyday. I don’t need a gift, holiday, birthday, vacation or a special trip to create a happy memory for my kids.
I just have to be willing to retain a piece of childhood inside of me, which means being in the moment of life, using my imagination and allow for discovery, exploration, magic and an excuse to color and lick icing from a bowl and roll dough for hours at a time just because I can and it snowed.
I have a quote that I have read many times and has been read many times around our table. It says, “the best gift you can give your child is a happy childhood.” I have discovered as I have raised my children that those happy times of childhood come from experiencing nature and living through the different seasons of life. Making memories and just being together in the present moment. Creating and cultivating an environment that is sometimes unstructured, unscheduled and allows for the freedom of time to just be…giving them my time as a parent and allowing them their time to be a kid that is not always dictated by a watch or a calendar.
A happy childhood and great memories are a balancing act. I parent using a balanced approach which means I believe in routine and structure most of the time and that there is a time and season for responsibility and a time and season for play. The good thing about living with routines and structure most of the time is that when I decide to break the rules and bedtime rituals so we can live in the moments of life I am making great memories for my kids and giving them a happy childhood while teaching them the art of balancing responsibility and play.